Where the Rust Never Sleeps

Where the Rust Never Sleeps

A Gundam SEED/Destiny fanfiction

---

The digital clock sounded out its alarm in shrill buzzes that repeated endlessly, until a hand crept up onto the time-keeping device, and slammed its palm against a button to instantly shut the noise off. A quieted groan came from a slumbering raven-haired male who was now fully awakened by the alarm clock. His tired eyes opened and closed slowly a few times, revealing crimson irises as his eyes parted completely open. He turned over his body onto his side, facing the digital clock on his nightstand, the time reading out 7:30 A.M. in the morning. Shifting his body around again, the raven-haired male slowly lifted himself up with a groggier groan coming out from his throat, yawning afterward and stretching his arms as he sat upright on his bed. He remained at his bed for a long moment, looking down at his legs covered in the silk sheets of white. He then craned his head up and looked around from his left to right, capturing a glance of the sight through the window to his right, before he pulled the sheets away from him.

Mornings were always the same for Shinn Asuka, as they were before. Sometimes, he would wake up in a dishevelled state, and ended up in a restless mood from not having enough sleep. Other times, he would awaken without that state, but the same feelings would remain once he got up from bed. Either way, he had still woken up in the same clothes he wore at bed, in his black tank top and matching boxers.

He planted both feet onto the carpeted floor, and got off the edge of the bed to stand. Slowly pacing around his bed, Shinn walked towards the window, and looked through the glass panes of it. He frowned at the sight of the skies, which were full of grey and white all over, looking a bit dreary out there. A deep sigh escaped from him, as he closed his eyes for a brief moment, before opening them fully again.

---

Having washed up cleanly as part of his daily routine, the raven-haired male walked down the stairs, and all the way to the kitchen to serve himself breakfast. Much like the mornings he had, breakfast was always the same for him, as well. Most of the breakfasts he spent were having a bowl of cereal filled with milk, and it was enough for him to start the day, which was a day that was like the other days for him.

Sitting on the chair and downing a spoonful of the cereal, the young man shifted his head to the right, and looked at the calendar on the wall that made him scowl. The date was September 1st, C.E. 74, which meant that it was his birthday. It also should've meant that he felt happy that today was his birthday, as well. But he wasn't.

He furrowed his eyebrows at the calendar, loosening the grip on the spoon he held with one hand, his body slightly tensed as he continued to stare at it for a moment. He then turned his head back, before finishing off the rest of his cereal, sitting in the kitchen all by himself.

---

Shinn seated himself on the sofa of the living room, the television set turned on as he flipped through channel after channel with the remote, in an attempt to find anything bearable to watch. Stopping at a station presenting some reality game show that was already rehashed to oblivion, the raven-haired teen could only find himself watching this kind of programming for a few minutes, before he finally decided to turn the T.V. off right away. Another deep sigh escaped from him, as he relaxed against the soft leather of the furniture he was sitting on. He focused at the black screen of the television set, the frown deepening by the slightest as he remained on the couch, the entire living room having been dimly-lit by the light coming through the windows.

Those same feelings of dejection and unresolved sorrow continued to linger around in his mind, persisting away from the minute he had gotten out of bed. He looked around aimlessly from left to right, before settling his gaze back at the T.V. screen.

Shinn had always felt that there was something missing from him, and hadn't felt like he should've been because of it. He had wondered how long it had been, since the Second Bloody Valentine War had ended. It apparently wasn't too long ago, when the whole world had found peace with itself, with the treaty signed by all parties involved. But for him, he never founded that kind of peace with himself, and still never had to this day. It was an emotional struggle in his mind, trying to grasp the new reality he was facing, in the weeks and months following that war. Although there was no more widespread fighting and conflict in the world anymore, Shinn continued to ask himself about what he had achieved through taking a more active role in that war. It certainly didn't give him any reprieve from all the tragedies he had to overcome in his earlier life, and it didn't win him any more friends than he would've liked.

That latter result was what concerned him so much, as he had some respectable allies who were with him all the way, and now almost all of them were gone. They had either died in combat, or had parted ways in forms of disagreement. And now he had almost no more friends left, after when it was all over. There were no more of whom he considered to be friends, to celebrate his birthday with him, he thought. It pained him a lot to think of it, only to celebrate that special occasion by himself, and nobody else but himself.

Shaking his head to get himself back into focus, Shinn got up from the couch and decided he had enough of just sitting there on the sofa, wasting every minute of his life doing nothing. He went back to his room to change into his casual clothing, a plaid jacket of red-and-white over a white t-shirt, and black denim jeans with a belt of matching colour. Stepping out of the room and down the stairs, Shinn grabbed the keys of his vehicle from the table, and left his house with the front door locked. He looked up at the skies again, as they were still cloudy with grey and white all over, looking as if it actually were going to rain. A dismayed frown remained on him, before taking a few steps down and onto the gravel.

He walked over to a large object of machinery parked next to the side of his house, covered up with a sheet of cloth. Uncovering the cloth, Shinn got onto his motorcycle and started up the ignition, revving away the engine a few times just before taking off onto the roads.

---

It was an hour and a half of driving later, that the overcast skies did finally gave way to rain down in droplets of water, as the motorcycle was left parked near the entrance to a memorial filled with rows of cenotaphs. The raven-haired teen had stood just solemnly and quietly before a large geometrically-rectangular stone that bore the names of three familiar names etched into the surface. Each of them belonged to his father, his mother, and his young sister, in the respective order. He stared hard at their names from half a metre away, while the rain showers had poured down on him, drops of icy-cold water having soaked through his jacket and shirt. It left a numb feeling through every nerve of him, and yet, he was unmoved by the water that had now seeped through to his skin.

Shinn furrowed his eyebrows with lips that were straightened, neither a frown nor a smile. Just neutral. His facial expression remained one of stoic, as he shifted his gaze away from the names inscribed on the stone, and down below them unfocusedly while he thought to himself. Reflecting back to the times when he fought for what he believed in the second war, the raven-haired male had many purposes to take part in the fighting, and one of them was to absolve himself of the haunting memories that was the certain tragedy he endured a few years prior. While he had felt vindicated to a certain extent, the memories of his late and beloved family members still continued to trouble him, and the particular ordeal having recurred in his mind. It was as much as having to go through the memories of his other loved ones, some of his fellow friends and colleagues, all of them lost forever in his eyes.

All of this lead to the question deep in his head, and it was whether or not he deserved to live in this kind of world, in its current form. His emotionless stare was replaced by a contemplative one, as he went back and forth in his thinking, the attempts to convince himself if everything he did was worth to exist as he did. And why should it be that he exist? Every single action he made, being weighed by him that was considered bad, had already outweighed every single action that was considered good. On the other hand however, if he were to look at the overall impact he made by taking action every time he had the chance, it wasn't as bad as he made it out to be. It all didn't look like it was all his work that stopped the fighting itself, but he played a very vital part to end it.

But the way he played the part to end it, had only made his own reputation a mess, a personal embarrassment on his own regard. To suffer at the hands of defeat, rendering his misconceived goals and dreams futile with an ill-fated move of impulsiveness. There was another argument that opposed all that in his mind, stating to him that he was fortunate to live through what he had done in which he thought was right, and how it dawned upon him to realize the mistakes he had made all along. All these arguments played out in his head had conflicted him beyond words, frustrating him to no end, the raven-haired male wanting to find that very peace deep within himself again. He growled quietly, his fists clenched with arms to his sides, a sullen body language as he bowed his head down.

A faint voice crept from behind Shinn, reaching his ears and calling out to him, the crimson-eyed male trying ignore the voice. It got louder every second, gradually forcing him to listen to that voice, until he snapped out of his intensifying daze of confusion and anger. He tilted his head up, turning it around to focus on the origin of the voice. It didn't take long to notice where it was coming from, as Shinn was surprised to see a magenta-headed female almost his height, standing three-quarters of a metre away from where he was. Her heliotrope eyes stared directly at his from that distance, one of his closest and surviving colleagues from ZAFT in front of him. She wore a dark leather jacket over a cherry-red shirt, and white high-top sneakers under her denim blue jeans.

"L-Luna," he addressed her name with a slight quiver on his lip.

"I've been looking for you, Shinn," Lunamaria Hawke told him with a thin smile. "Thought you would be here, since this is always the place you would go to, almost every day."

Shinn frowned at her, initially dismayed at her sudden appearance and how she knew he would be there. He wanted to be alone to think about everything in his life, but it didn't hurt for him to talk to someone he already knew, even for a long time.

"What do you want?" He murmured under his breath.

"Nothing!" She answered. "I…I thought I would we would have a little chat, that's all."

Shinn glared at her with slightly-narrowed eyes that were softened by a bit. Lunamaria turned her sights away from him, letting out an explanation awkwardly.

"I…just want to know how you're doing," she spoke.

She then turned her sights back towards him, bewildered to see the dark-haired teen face the ceramic stone once more. Luna then frowned, her arms crossed in her response, a slightly-saddened look in her eyes as she stared at him.

"Shinn," she sighed to herself, before she slowly paced over to where he was.

She stood right beside him in the rain, staring at the same cenotaph that Shinn was gazing at. Like him, the magenta-haired woman didn't mind the drops of water pelting down on them, as they stared at the headstone for a few long moments in silence. At last, she broke the silence, turning to Shinn with a neutral expression on her face.

"This was your family, isn't it?" Lunamaria asked. "The ones whose names are on there?"

Shinn could only give a small nod of his head, his sorrow eyes continued to be fixed on the ceramic stone.

Luna nodded back. "I feel sorry for your family, Shinn," she frowned sadly. "They didn't deserve it, and it's really tragic…but I'm sure they will all think highly of you, even if they aren't there with you anymore."

His gaze shifted down, his eyes becoming glassy to a slight degree. "No," he hushed, causing Luna to raise her eyebrows at him. "It's more than just my family that's on my mind this whole time."

Luna shifted her gaze away from him for a very brief moment, thinking about him, before she turned to the raven-haired male. "Should we talk about this, then?" She asked, laying a hand on his arm. "I mean, if you're comfortable about it, you and I can discuss about what's on your mind."

Shinn slowly turned to her with that stoic glare through his narrowed eyes, having noticed the smile on her face after she spoke to him. He had the urge not to reveal his true feelings to her, struggling to keep them as they were, but he needed to let them out. It was only for him to let out whatever it was from his chest. The raven-haired teen suppressed a swollen gulp, before he finally answered to her, after keeping up the silence for so long.

"Sure," he reluctantly answered only that, looking away from the fuchsia-headed female.

Lunamaria was surprised to see him turn his head away from her when he answered, but quickly smiled in response, knowing that was the actual answer she needed to hear from him. Her hand that was laying on his arm had shifted down to hold his hand, Shinn accepting it by a gentle grasp of his over hers.

"Let's go, then," she said, before the two of them turned back towards the memorial's exit.

---

Almost 45 minutes later, they were at a café somewhere in a suburban area outside of metropolis. The rain had died down somewhat, but the showers still fell from the skies that hadn't gave way, and not anytime soon as the dark-haired male had thought when he looked through the window. Lunamaria was seated across the table from where he was, stirring the cup of coffee sitting in front of her with a metal spoon. She then looked up at the raven-headed man, whose cup of the same drink was also sitting on the table in front of him. But his focus was still fixated elsewhere as he gazed through the window, a ponderous expression on his face, sitting there looking at the drops of water falling to the ground.

"Shinn?" Luna quietly asked him to get his attention, but to speak up again when she didn't. "Shinn?"

"Hmm?" Shinn turned to her, once he heard her call his name, an eyebrow raised inquisitively.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" She asked, while he took a sip of his cup. "Anything about how you're actually feeling, especially when I met you over there?"

He stared at her with dejected eyes, sighing deeply to himself, before he finally broke his own silence.

"Fine," he murmured out his answer.

Shinn proceeded to explain to her about his feelings in the months after the second war had ended, and how he had felt conflicted in his own mind, due to consequences of his past decisions and actions during that war. He discussed with her, about their other colleagues in the military, and how their lives changed when some of them they knew had passed away. He then told her more about his family, and the close bonds between his late sister and him, telling her why he'd usually carry that one memento from her in the past—the pink cellphone. Luna nodded her head and understood at his explanations, following his words closely, as he told her that there was always something missing from him that prevented him from enjoying a normal life, and it always kept happening again.

"So, based on what you're telling me," Luna comprehended, "there has to be at least one central reason behind your true feelings."

"It's my birthday," Shinn informed her in a saddened tone. "Today just happens to be my birthday."

Lunamaria blinked. "Oh, it's your birthday?" She questioned astonishingly, before letting out a gleeful remark with a laugh. "I didn't know! Well, how sweet is that?"

He shifted his gaze away from her, shying off his narrowed eyes of sorrow so that he didn't want to focus on her, when she made the remark. Luna gasped, before she corrected herself so that she didn't want to make him feel very badly than before.

"I'm sorry about that," she quietly apologized. "I was…"

"No," he sighed, lowering his head in a downcast manner. "It's alright."

"Well, I'll have to say about why you're like that right now," she told him. "And I think that since it's your birthday, you have no one else to celebrate that day with you. Not the friends you know, and not the friends we know. And not even your family, as well."

Shinn shook his head at her. "You don't completely understand it, do you?" He looked up straight at the magenta-haired woman, who was taken aback deep inside by his sudden response. "When I realized that today was my birthday," he explained, "I thought about how all the things I did in the past have affected my current life."

Luna frowned at him, while he continued to explain.

"I can't really say what it actually is, that's holding me back from living the way everyone else here does," he spoke under his breath. "But I feel like I haven't completely gotten over what I had done back then."

A brief period silence took over them, before Shinn went on.

"It's just that…you know? I wanted to be a person with good intentions," he elaborated. "And I've been through everywhere, but I still couldn't find it myself to figure out those feelings."

Shinn then looked down at his cup of coffee, sullenly.

"And for that," he sighed, "I don't know if I want to live a life like this any longer. I just…can't. I just simply can't."

Luna's eyes widened in shock, a wave of disbelief hitting her as soon as she heard him talk about not wanting to live anymore.

"But…you can't," she objected, her eyes becoming slightly glassy. "You can't just tell me that you've given up trying to solve this problem you're having!"

"What do you want me to say then, Luna?" Shinn refuted. "That everything is alright, and I've already found something to resolve my issues? My feelings?"

"No," she simply stated, the raven-haired male having looked at her straight in the eyes. "No, I mean…I kind of know what you're saying from all of this." A pause. "You feel very conflicted because of your recent past," she explained to him, "and you want to find the way out of it, but you couldn't."

Shinn nodded his head with a saddened expression.

"But without anyone else to be there with you all the way," Luna analyzed, "you feel as if you're the only one to deal with this, and it's been quite the struggle you're having ever since."

"Exactly," he quietly told her.

"Well, I'll be the one to help you to get through with this," she asserted, smiling. "And you know I'm not the only one who can guide someone like you in this kind of struggle."

"But why?" Shinn queried in an earnest tone. "Why would you do this for me?"

"Because I'm your friend who happens to still be here with you," Luna explained. "I know you a lot more as much as you know me, and that's where it counts."

Shinn glared at her with softening crimson irises, just as Lunamaria shifted her gaze downward and away from him.

"And honestly," she sighed, "I just couldn't bear to hear you talk like this."

The magenta-headed woman then looked up to him with her heliotrope eyes.

"I don't want to see you live your life like this anymore," Luna attested.

Shinn remained stone-faced for a brief moment, before his lips cracked into a smile, thin as it was, but he had genuinely felt no longer melancholic than he ever was.

"Thank you, Luna," he murmured. "I appreciate you for standing by me in this time of need."

She nodded her head. "I'm always there for you, Shinn," Luna replied. "You're not alone in this."

---

The light rain had continued to fall, until the clouds had finally gave way to brighter skies. By then, daytime had slowly turned to nightfall, and it was the start of evening when the two of them were outside at his house. Shinn and Lunamaria took a few steps up onto the porch, their clothes having been dried from all the rain, before they stopped just behind the front door. They held each other's hands as they did, before letting them go from one another, the raven-haired male and the fuchsia-headed female directly facing each other.

"Well, I guess this is it for today," Shinn told her. "I think you should be somewhere else by now."

Luna shook her head. "I don't want to, Shinn." She turned her head towards the open areas lit by the setting sun shimmering through the clouds. "I just don't feel like I want to go."

"Luna, it's okay," he assured her. "I'm fine with the way you're there for me, but…I think it is best if I can handle this all by myself."

She turned her head back, but didn't stare directly at him yet. "Then…can I stay with you for just an hour or so?" Luna looked up to him with imploring eyes that shone brightly. "I'll be out of your way afterward."

Shinn stared at her, blinking. He then narrowed his eyes and shifted his gaze away from Luna, thinking for a brief moment, before the dark-haired male could come out with the answer.

"Alright," he sighed. "I'll let you stay for a bit."

"Really?" She reacted eagerly. "That's great!"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "What are you so eager about?"

"Oh, me?" She pointed at herself, an innocent expression on her face. "Nothing. It's…nothing, Shinn."

All Shinn could do, was to glare at her with an earnest expression on her face, before he unlocked the door and let himself and Lunamaria inside. He then flickered on the light switch to the entire living room, only to become even more surprised and shocked at the same time, for what he saw was an entire crowd in front of him when he turned on the lights. They were his remaining colleagues from both ZAFT and Orb, both old and new, who gathered together to do the one thing primarily for him—and that was to throw a surprise birthday party as soon as he came in on the scene. He could see some of them who served with him on board the Minerva: Meyrin, Vino, Yolant, and Arthur. Shinn could then see Kira and Lacus together at the middle of the group, along with Athrun. There were others he could recognize from the second war and after it, including Yzak, Dearka, Miriallia, and Shiho. Every single one of them were in their casual attire, and all of them cheered on the birthday boy who didn't expect this to happen at all.

"Happy birthday, Shinn!" They all cheered loudly, just as the lights came on in the whole room.

Shinn didn't know how to react, when he saw all of them gathered there at his place. He fell silent for a few seconds, before he stumbled on his words, trying to disseminate all of what just happened. But he figured it out to play it along and push all his thoughts aside for later, getting over his shock and confusion.

"I…I—uh," he stuttered in surprise, his cheeks getting flustered. "I…don't know what to say, everyone. I mean, well um…thanks, guys."

"Happy birthday to you, Shinn!" Meyrin cheered out, as she advanced towards him and gave him a hug.

Shinn returned the hug sincerely, before they pulled away from each other. Lunamaria then patted him comfortably on the back with a laugh, the raven-haired teen having turned to her, raising a confused eyebrow.

"Wait a minute," he told her with earnest eyes. "Was all of this your idea?"

Luna sheepishly laughed and shrugged her shoulders in response, before Arthur and the others pulled Shinn away to celebrate the occasion with him, with the magenta-headed woman looking on with a smile.

"Hey, let's all have a good time with this fellow here!" Arthur beamed out, wrapping an arm around Shinn, with Kira, Athrun, Dearka, and Yzak nearby in jubilation.

Shinn could only give out a docile laugh, before he himself gave in to the partying with the others he knew from recent memory.

The next few hours saw him participate in the various activities around the house as the party went on. He had engaged in a lot of conversations with his colleagues, talking about the good times they had, and all the golden memories they cherished in their lives. They had played some games meant for parties like this, from word games to the ones involving a bit of alcohol. Shinn also had a better time when it came to karaoke and all the music that made the whole atmosphere livelier. There were video games, food, and anything else there was, to make the party the best one Shinn ever had.

From that point on, those inner feelings of sorrow and despair began to lift away, to be replaced by the exhilarating emotions of jubilance and fascination. Shinn no longer felt like he was the only one to find the way to make the resolve of his struggles; he had all the others he knew, who were there to support him all the way. There was now a sense that the raven-haired male can keep going in his quest of life, to find that very solution.

---

By the time the party had ended a couple of hours into the night, all the guests who stayed had left, the remaining few having walked over to their vehicles to leave. The only exception was Luna, who stood on the porch right beside Shinn, as he waved at Kira and Athrun good-bye.

"We'll see you next time, Shinn!" Athrun called out, as he walked along with Kira. "That was an awesome party, by the way!"

"Thanks!" Shinn called back from the porch. "I really appreciate you guys coming over here!"

As soon as he saw both of them walk further away from the house, Shinn turned around and headed back inside, Luna following him in as the door closed behind them. He gave a weary sigh to himself that was of satisfaction, looking around the living room that he had to clean up later on. Luna faintly smiled at him, her arms at her sides.

"Well," she breathed out, "that has to be the best party you've ever had, huh?"

Shinn nodded with a smile. "It was," he paced around, before his smile faded away when he stopped. "But I've been thinking."

"What's that?"

"I was going to ask you earlier, when the whole party started," Shinn turned his body to face her. "And I was wondering if this was your whole idea for all this."

Luna froze for a brief moment, her eyes looking away from him, before shifting them back to directly stare at Shinn. "Well, yes, it was partly my idea," she finally confessed.

He narrowed his eyes sternly at her, but Luna spoke up quickly to explain.

"But all the others were involved, Shinn," she told him. "When I told them your birthday was coming up, they decided to prepare it this way, so that you weren't left out all by yourself on that day."

Shinn continued to focus on her, as she approached him by a couple of steps more.

"And besides," she looked away for a second before turning to him, "wouldn't you want to celebrate your birthday, the way you wanted it?"

"But…I'm confused," he blinked. "I thought you told me that you just realized it's my birthday today, and you didn't know until then."

Luna sighed. "I did," she confirmed. "But again, it was all part of the planning. I knew it was going to be your birthday, but I kept everything secret as to not spoil you about it."

A short pause filled the air of the atmosphere of the room, before she continued.

"The point is," Luna explained, "I wanted to make you feel very happy today, and to be sure you would be still here with us in the long run."

"No, it's okay," Shinn shook his head shortly. "I understand that, Luna." He smiled. "And I appreciate you, for what you have done for me, on this special day in particular. It's been meaningful, and to be honest…I haven't felt this well in a long time."

"I'm glad to hear that, Shinn," Lunamaria smiled brightly. "Oh, and by the way…"

"Hmm?"

She advanced towards him even closer, before she leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek. A light blush gathered across his face as he felt her soft kiss, Shinn caught in a bit of a daze from it, as she pulled away.

"Happy birthday, Shinn," she whispered quietly.

A warm smile was on his face that widened even more, before he responded to her kiss, by wrapping his arms around her. Luna was surprised to see him hug and embrace her, but she accepted the hug, by hugging him back. Although he had never found the way to reach that certain kind of peace with himself yet, it was the first major step for him towards reaching that. He wasn't certainly far off from achieving that either, but for Shinn, all it would take for him was to keep on going…to keep on searching for what would be a true life of virtue, inner peace, and stability.

And it would be the heart of gold that he would keep on searching, for the years to come.